Everything Turns Out Nicely In The Summertime

Sat, 19 Dec 2009 09:35:09 GMT

Backtracking. Right. Things that have happened.

Foundation course is wonderful and highly stressful and everything a growing girl needs. Not entirely pleased with my initial project, but it's given me enough grounding for the new one for the new one to be of much greater quality, I think. So that's alright. I'm going to buy some paint over the holiday and start to get some more colour into my work.

I had a really lovely few days at Ross' with her friends. Seeing S.C.U.M would always be good but in this case it was especially good; a collaboration with Matthew Stone and nothing like support bands or even ordinary gig etiquette were present. A very laid back affair and the perfect set up for Ross' lovely christmas party with all her friends. Very nice. Very nice indeed. The music was utterly beautiful and there was a significant shift into the major key with their music - it didn't sound quite so dark, but still very heavy, but always beautiful. The second to last song (it was new and I didn't recognise it) was honestly one of the loveliest things I've ever heard in that huge sounding, resonant, euphoric sort of way. God bless shoegaze. Additionally taking the piss out of Tom to his face is always good fun.

Also saw Adam the next day and did plenty of drooling in Liberty and Oxford Street Topshop (though the latter was mostly snarking, admittedly, and imagining Jamie Lovatt wearing numerous lace numbers).

It was my birthday, as I posted. I recieved a sewing machine for it and christmas combined and I am so happy! I feel like I can do so much now. It's a really lovely techno-mental one, and it even includes a space to put photos of your favourite person on the side (what?!). I can't wait to use it (take in various pairs of trousers etc). I think the most important thing was the Horrors, however. I had a photopass which was pretty much a dream come true (as was the whole gig). I was very much reminded of just how special and important this band were and are to me - I know perfectly well that I wouldn't be listening to what I listen to and loving who I do and even silly things down to dressing like I do if it weren't for this band, in some way or another. The music was more than just a little heavenly, tears shed etc. I really do appreciate the Suicide fanboyism. The Ghost Rider cover was exceedingly exciting as was the token appearence of Strange House songs. OH! And Lung, Rotter and Seven (support act consisting of Sir Barry of Seven and other ex-band people) were incredible. Three grown guys playing 8-bit bouncy fun times on bloody DS'es. How do you pluralise a DS? Anyway. It was incredibly exciting even if Barry 7's jeans were really a bit crap.

Afterwards we went to Scandals and that was nice too. Crowded and a bit rowdy but lovely Sam Plommer in his white Doc Martens scuttled in and got Rowan an ID and then we all had a sit around and a stand around while 'Indie' music was played. Quite good fun. And then it snowed. Bit magical, that.

The cake my sister made me was really bad. I don't mind though, she knew it, even if we did dispose of 7/8ths of it in a bin in the street so not to hurt her feelings. I appreciate the sentiment.

All in all, the fact that I had a really lovely birthday means I don't mind being twenty so much. Now I'm having a few relaxing days before Christmas being an artfag with Rowan.

A late entry for one of the best songs this year

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 22:26:40 GMT

I utterly urge that everyone listens and watches this. I feel it's very appropriate for the time of year when there's meant to be so much love around.

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 11:00:40 GMT

I am twenty today.

I am going to wish that I was this age for the rest of my life.

A better entry about everything and everyone will come soon, I promise, for there are a lot of things I am feeling very powerfully for currently, many nice experiences. But for the moment I want to notify everyone waiting for a shirt that you're probably not going to get it before Christmas due to overwhelming demand of the printing facilities here at college - a few are done and ready to be given, but most are not. You will receive, I assure you, and you will be pleased. I'm just really sorry about this unforeseen difficulty.

In the meantime, a minor peruse of pictorial things may give an inkling of what I've been doing, I suppose.

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 19:55:56 GMT

ATTN
Those that I am making a shirt for christmas

If you could peruse these size listings and find the best that's for you -

Sizes S M L XL XXL XXXL
Chest To Fit (Inches) 36 38-40 42 44 46-48 50-52
Actual Chest (CM) 96 104 112 120 126 142
Actual Length (Inches) 27.5 28 29 30 30.5 31.5
Actual Length (CM) 70 71 74.5 76 77 80

And then pick from these colours -

That would be great. I've found somewhere for wholesale shirts now that I'm ready to print up and such, so I need to buy. ASAP plox! Thank you :)

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 10:00:54 GMT

What have I been doing? Work, working, working, stress and being far too low. That's about all. I've viewed a great deal of universities and I can safely say I am obsessed with Camberwell, and it is where I want to go, absolutely.

Additionally, I think I've finally left the world of competitive synchronised swimming. Far too early yet far too late. It's been an issue that's certainly left me feeling somewhat bereft and tender, but after another wasted year of sacrificing weekends to rush home early for training, my mother missing out on precious time spent with her husband, stress, worry, disappointment, it all came to an abrupt end at a competition in Glasgow. I can happily say at least the shameful performance was the last of the evening and most people had gone home. I gave it my all. I've given my all this whole year, but it doesn't detract from the fact that nobody else cares and I can't believe I've wasted my time on them. So I decided that night that I would no longer swim that team, and mum decided she would no longer coach it, and we are pulling out of every remaining competition we've entered. A shameful, disappointing end to my swimming career. I can only wish that I had chosen to end it all last year.

Things that have been making me feel better; Cardiacs, Charles, Everything Everything.

I went to go see Everything Everything on friday night and I can honestly say I was just blown away. I knew that on record they are brilliant (very neat pop tunes with some of the best lyrics I've heard in new music recently, but also an enormous scope for range within their songs, sadly not made quite so aparrent by their singles but certainly by bsides) - admittedly not for everyone as not everyone can handle quite so much falsetto, but I had no idea that they would be quite such accomplished showmen. Jonathan's voice is amazing and soars and dips with the greatest of ease. I was nearly moved to tears on some of the slower, gentler pieces like Tin and Nasa Is On Your Side, some of the most visual pieces of music I've heard recently. I'm in love, frankly.

It was wonderful to talk to them afterwards. I expressed an interest to have a chat and pick their brains and take photos and such, so we sat backstage with them for an extended period of time. They're funny, considerate, intelligent and kind people - after all, giving Rowan (whom they remembered by name and spoke very kindly of) a piece of free vinyl a few nights before shows. It was lovely to talk about their music and lyrics though and they thanked me for not asking boring questions, which was relieving. It seems as though they're certainly on an understandable plane in that sense; everything Jonathan said about writing lyrics seemed to chime with my method of drawing and appreciation of art, so I couldn't help but show them what an impression some of their words had made on recent artwork. What was lovely was that what is baffling to some other people viewing my work was instantly readable to them and they were impressed, so much so that Temple said outright that they would give me money for my work when it comes round to putting out new records and such, which of course, an honour. I took some photographs of them posing with umbrellas and I can't wait to process them.

That's all really. Back to work, now, and counting the days till thursday.

A useless collection of statements

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 13:41:30 GMT

So I've spent two weeks in dedication to Cardiacs. In that time, Rowan bought a 7" of theirs off e-bay and Charles, Rowan and I had a brief afternoon where we considered bidding on their album Sing to God which is £70 on Amazon, haha, but we decided it was better if we waited, and when I told Bryan that my favourite band were the Cardiacs, he said that there was an old chap down a pub he goes to in Emsworth that wears a black shirt with that word on, and in his words 'a cute little stick man and a drawing of a house, right?'. Anyway. That's that.

My time keeping has become utterly apalling. I've been late three times and today failed to attend college altogether because I didn't wake up on time. It's embarassing. Every night that I work late or such just completely throws me off. It's a little difficult so far, wriggling into the routine, and I can't say that continually waking up late and having small dramas particularly help. My bike hates me. I've had three punctures in four days, one of which on my bike ride to Chichester with Xan and Owen (see my facebook for brief but nice videos of the afternoon) which was a little disruptive, but didn't affect the overall loveliness of the day. That whole day was rather special, actually, rather special indeed. I made some new very good friends in the evening when I went out with Bryan and his friends. (If you're wondering who this elusive chap is, I met him outside the Registry pub while I was working, and he is lovely, has sweet eyes and an asymetrical haircut and wears winkle pickers and paisley scarves). All spectacular.

I want to start making things I think are actually good on my foundation course, because I haven't yet, much to my chagrin. While I understand that the majority of what we're doing are just nice little workshops to get juices flowing etc, I want to actually do something magnificent. I don't think I ever have yet. Also, Tom Vain's mispelled updates about his Twin Peaks viewing is making me want to see it again so badly it hurts. Who here has seen it? Who here thinks it's the greatest thing committed to television ever?

And talking of Tom Vain, I had a nice chat with him on facebook messenger the other night. Sweet. That means we're boyfriends now. Can you catch Hep B by holding hands?

Sun, 20 Sep 2009 17:17:20 GMT

Today I discovered a piece of information fed to the internet quite a long time ago (two months) but sadly, I did not see it. It concerned the health and welfare the musician Tim Smith of my favourite band in the whole wide world, the Cardiacs, who as people that I may talk to about it may know, suffered (ironically) a cardiac arrest a year ago, and us fans have since been in the dark as to how he is recovering or what he is going through. That is, of course, until that piece of news.

Naturally I find myself almost incapable of describing the effect that this news and the knowledge of Tim Smith's current state has had upon me. Before, I used to mostly just bemoan the fact that the Cardiacs were what I believed to be unrecognised genius - and that word is hurled around to describe just about anything, but in this sense I recognise it as full, bonafide genius - alongside that of the poets and the classical composers that Tim Smith so clearly rubs shoulders with in terms of his lyrical elegance and melodic talent. They have spanned so many years and produced so much, living through turbulent times in the country that haven't seemed to infringe on their spirit one jot - in fact, I feel, just made it sturdier and beastlier. But in recent reckoning, it's become so much more than that. The Cardiacs are really Tim Smith and has always just been Tim Smith, the captain at the helm of their big ship as it creaks down the brook of obscurity and cult popularism. Therefore my feelings and love have shifted towards him, this distant, unreachable madman who has seemed more a figment of imagination than a rockstar like all the others that I love.

I've come to care for the fantasy and the whole illuminated world of Tim Smith like one would love the universe conjured by a children's storyteller. The Cardiacs can never just be a band, to me. They are a whole folklore, artists painting their pictures with music as the oil and essential English eccentricities as the brush, forever consistent in their bafflement and bedazzlement. The knowledge that Timmy Smith - the beacon for staying young, beautiful and insane as long as, forgive the phrase, the heart beats - can no longer weild the brush nor daub the paint anymore due to his health is like a hole in my chest. It honestly makes me feel awful to think that someone suspended in a world like that should have to come tumbling back down to reality and suffer and not be able to do what made them so free in the first place.

While a band like Belle and Sebastian cast their soft palms for me to clasp as I grew into myself, aged sixteen or so, Cardiacs have nestled in my breast and become the ideal for so many ideals of life. I feel that sort of feeling their music and world gives me as comforting as I feel love or the urge to create. The images they scrawl behind my eyelids and implant in my mind are as important to me as so many other things that people seem to retain from childhood or family. I've often joked that if I had to raise a child, I'd make sure Cardiacs were there from the start and I think that is how it has happened for others, judging from their lovely range of children's t-shirts. This may all seem hyperbolic but it's true - I think it's perfectly possible for music and the love for those that make it to do this. I think this is the sort of feelings all musicians should wish to evoke. All I can do is hope and hope and wish fate deals no further cruel hands for poor Tim Smith, and he gets to live out that glimmer of anticipation he speaks of. because us Cardiacs fans, as few as we are, need him and indeed the world - because what is the world without its geniuses?

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 11:30:55 GMT

Okay, so this really is obscene. There is absolutely no need to not post for so long other than complete laziness - it's not even as if nothing's happened in my life, I am just lazy. There are two significant weekends that I feel that Rowan described so much better than I could, now, given how much time has passed -

Offset Festival, for one, which was one of the best weekends I've ever had

Connan Mockasin, we are THE PHYSICS and sleeping poorly with Ross and Rowan

I have had to think more and more about university lately. We're booking open days left right and centre and yes, although I had a bit of a breakdown in confidence and decided that I'm rubbish, I won't be able to get in anywhere, everywhere was too talented for me, I think I have started to get over that now, observing other student's work and such on websites; it all suddenly felt within reach. That can only be a good thing. Location-wise, I'm leaning more and more towards London, but I recognise I'm really going to need a full time job to save up a little more for making something like that viable...

In the meantime, I miss my friends horrendously. I'm starting my Foundation course soon and I'm just crossing fingers, praying that I will meet people that are as fun as... well, something that is fun.

ETA;

I completely forgot. I've been meaning to say this for some time. I know it's a bit early, but it's for a reason -

CHRISTMAS PRESENT REQUEST THREAD

This year, I've decided that I'm doing that anyone that requests one a unique, hand drawn and hand printed band shirt of their request. These shirts will be just like any shirt you'd expect to buy from a shop, just as much washing life in them etc, screen printed using high quality materials etc. I'm asking this early so I can get them done over the next few months and out to you on time.

All I need to know is -

- if you want one
- what band/thing you would like the shirt to feature
- anything specific you'd like included in the design
- colour/size of shirt (UK girls if you can, I'm looking for wholesale shirts)
- colours (up to two) to feature in the print.

Leave this in a comment and I'd be grateful.

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 20:22:25 GMT

I don't know why I haven't updated in so long but really, there's not much to say or do. I'm aching to go back to college; my confidence in my skills has been entirely renewed by four A's at A level. Grades I did not expect one bit, but now that the week is passing, I'm slowly warming to the idea. Haha. I'm really very focused and intensely enthused by the idea of university. I got so excited just going into Denby, the chinaware shop, just because I remembered how much fun it is to shop and cook for yourself.

I'm looking to buy a corset, a proper one, when I next get paid.

I'm achingly excited for Offset festival. It is quite literally the best thing I could be going to at this period in time - bar maybe Late of the Pier it genuinely has every one of my favourite bands playing, and it's going to be a struggle to see everything I want to. Just so many beautiful things and music pouring out in every direction! My first weekend festival, however - anyone got any tips for doin' it right, saving money etc?

I'm super proud and happy to announce the majestic scumalloverme is now open for business. We've made it shiny and silly and posted everything we've made so far for them which is a surprising amount.

I am deeply enthused by a band called Everything Everything currently. Interesting and complex choons that range from big, loud pop, to delicate, atmospheric pieces of music, all while managing to sound like Battles with their balls in a clamp. Very exciting; I'm looking to see them about three times from September through October. Nice!

Sat, 15 Aug 2009 16:24:06 GMT

Clasp your beloved dictionary and turn to the definition of Divine. I'm fairly sure it will refer to two weeks spanning from August 1st - 15th 2009 in the life of Eleanor. Not vastly hyperbolic or exaggerated. I've really been so happy. I'll get round to uploading shots/writing a full account as soon as I remember.

I now have three film cameras. Golly! One awarded to me from Yasmin. Thank you Yasmin! One for £3 from a car boot sale. One given to me from the Parrots, and luckily enough, being the same make as the one I bought from the car boot sale so the lenses are interchangable without duct tape and brackets, haha. Being paid means that I can buy frivolities and nice film. I don't expect anything wonderful but it's fun to experiment; I hope to include a vast amount of the photos I take in the Summer Project book I'm doing for Foundation course. I imagine having some film cameras and my beloved D40 will be ever so useful once I get back to work. I'm actually quite excited.

Ross wrote two pages of THE STORY and it excited me, and then we realised that before we advanced it was better that we were separate due to the style in which THE STORY is being written. D'oh!

Here are some statements.

- I'm not excited for my A-level results.

- The haircut I have is the best haircut I have ever had.

- I get the internet again on Wednesday.

- Add N to (X) are becoming one of my favourite bands.

- We're getting some amazing O2 family tariff that means I'll never spend a penny on my phone again.

- Humbug by Arctic Monkeys is really quite lovely.

I'm going to go and eat now; for the last few hours mum has been trawling Flickr and discovering wonderful things as she does, and we found an account with a candid photo of Callum in it.

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 14:03:51 GMT

All of my time the past few days has been spent thinking about or writing or planning a somewhat huge story with Ross. It's bringing me a great deal of happiness and inspiration and it's lovely to feel that something that is of your own (and Ross') creation seems really... as though it could happen. It feels too good to waste.

My grandpa told me an amazing story earlier. He truly is one of the greatest people I know and I long to be so much closer than I am to him, and I don't know how to do it.

Anyway. As it frequently does, it started with Facebook; he had reconnected with a student of his that he had very strong ties with. She lives now in America and sought him out after seeing Dead Poet's Society - something that in itself made me feel very emotional, because knowing that my grandfather has had that impact on people has always moved me and inspired me. Anyway; their correspondance had led to the explanation of her current situation. After years of abusive relationships, poor jobs and no real inspiration, she decided to start again, move, start a course in psychiatry. Grandpa explained that she was a wonderful student and it upset him to see that she hadn't quite grasped the success and easy life she so deserved. And again; another dastardly boyfriend had left her in debt and destitute, and we both agreed that it was a tragic story, especially as she now had no money to complete her course and would have to start again, dissatisfied, alone.

He finished his story by very softly telling me that it didn't matter. There was a cheque in the post to her now with enough money to pay for the rest of her course. We were in John Lewis when he told me this, and I had to take the opportunity of Mum's reapproaching Grandpa to talk to him to run away and sit amongst the rugs and cry. I love him so much.

I'm excited for Sammyland festival. It only really hit home today that Yasmin and Rowan are going to be in my house. I'm so happy...

Hello London, This Is YΔCHT

Sun, 26 Jul 2009 16:24:12 GMT

I love Rowan and Ross. This entry will describe it all so much better.

I sincerely love everything about YACHT. I am so glad that the first time I ever spoke to Jona I said that to him – I said that they are everything I could possibly want to feel from a band, and I felt that after one performance and never hearing their music before, and now I only feel the same but so much stronger. I can’t remember the last time I have honestly – honestly – wished I could be someone just so much, and how much I wish I could just throw myself into a world like theirs and drop everything that already exists in my life. I think it’s incredible that a band can have that sort of effect on someone, and I think that’s exactly what they’re looking for. The sad thing is is that I know that a lot of people will miss the point, miss the slight tongue-in-cheek attitude but at the same time miss the sheer planned brilliance and intelligence underpinning the whole thing; write them off as cool kids and miss the point. I honestly believe that these two people are entirely genuine and believe in what they do and I wish I could have something like that, an outlet like they do; I intend to, of course. I want a musical project that isn’t just a music project but is everything, a story, a concept, imagery and mystery and something exciting, like the old bands used to be before people could look them up on MySpace and find out they were just normal people (not that that is a bad thing, of course, but the prevailing mystery in bands is something I wish could be perpetuated in certain cases). I am so grateful for finding YACHT and I am so grateful for them wanting to make people feel the way I do, because I know this is the sort of reaction that they want, and they are humble enough people to accept this and be touched by this sort of information, I know it. The gig at Cargo has hurtled into my favourite shows of all time and I think if I only didn’t feel quite so constricted by strangers around me that weren’t quite into it as I was, then it really would have been a time to completely let go, and I can only say I’ve had the joy of doing once or twice before. So, thank you Jona Bechtolt and Claire L. Evans; you are a huge inspiration for my own future in creativity and a beacon in everything that I think young people should find themselves free to think and do and want in life.

ETA – I loved them before, as is clear, but now – Rowan’s just received an email back from them
regarding a letter she sent to them, and even though it wasn’t addressed to me, it made me cry regardless. I can’t remember the last time a band were this wonderful.

Sat, 18 Jul 2009 17:44:40 GMT

I've also been keeping a list of my favourite songs this year. I'm going to post it officially at the end of the year though, because then it will make a huge big lump and it'll be interesting!

However, my favourite songs so far this year are these. It was going to be five but then I couldn't decide so I made it six instead. In reverse order, sort of.

6) Everything Everything - Photoshop Handsome

If there's anything I love more than perfectly crafted pop, then it's perfectly crafted pop with half a brain. There's something really exciting about this band, even though they're really only just up and coming, and I really can't wait to hear more from them because this song, on top of their really quite thrillingly coplex, varied intelligent demos, is just exciting. And almost irritatingly catchy.

5) God Help The Girl - Musicians, Please Take Heed

I can't really explain the effect this song has on me... I thought it was hilarious that this album was given a one in the NME and generally hasn't been recieved all too enthusiastically but I think it's amazing when bands or artists make albums like a musical, which God Help The Girl is, and for Stuart Murdoch who is basically Jesus in my eyes makes this then... well, it was only expected I'd feel this way. I love the story of this song and I find it so beautiful that one person's situation can be elevated to this really dramatic, huge piece of music when really what she's singing is kind of so regular... I think it's beautiful.

4) S.C.U.M - Warsaw

I think Rowan got it in one when she said that there really isn't another band that are so simultaneously ridiculous and utterly incredible. I think this track sums it up. They're so young. They're so criminally good looking and above all they are eye wateringly talented. Their show at the Joiners is amongst the hot favourites for my favourite gig if not this year but ever and I just wish they'd played this track... That first really big note at about twenty seconds in really excites me. This band excites me full stop. They're really inspiring... the funny thing about the video is that it really captures what they're like live, so... yeah. Just see them if you can because that's when it really clicks.

3) YACHT - Ring The Bell/The Afterlife

Funnily enough there isn't a video of this. Which is a massive shame. These two songs are... hypotising, quite frankly, but again; I think it's something that has to be seen to be believed. This band have just hurtled into my favourites from one single performance and I just hope that they're going to stay there, because everything about them is just so intriguing and important and inspiring... Incoherant, hahaha. I love YACHT and I want to be just like them. I listened to these two songs pretty much over and over and over again when I first got them.

2) Animal Collective - My Girls (not the official video, but the best quality I could find, plus I actually really like the video that they've made for it, too)

One of the most trancendent and incredible moments in my life - at Bugged Out with Erol Alkan in April, exhausted at about two/three in the morning, those opening arpeggios pushing through the haze and just... I closed my eyes, and it was bliss. Pure bliss. The lights and the feel and the way everyone almost fell still and in awe, it felt like, even if it was just because it was dropped into the set seemingly innappropriately because you can't really dance to it. It's hyponitising and I feel a lot of empathy with the song too, because I don't care about material things either, I just want a nice home and my girls.

1) The Horrors - Sea Within A Sea

Not only is this my favourite song so far this year but it's probably now one of my favourite songs of all time. It's just every time I hear this... I can't explain it. The images, the colours, the feel of it; the video doesn't quite capture it, but it's in the right place, it's nearly there. I just think it's beyond incredible, even if everyone says the new stuff is just a collection of their influences rather than their own music - I couldn't disagree. I think it captures a feeling and that feeling is bliss, tinged with something a little like that same danger and fear, even, that they have as a band. If I die tomorrow, play this at my funeral.

Now, a creative interlude.

These are some photos I took at a Synchro Show we did recently. I figured there are always shots of the performance itself, but not so many of the people getting ready. So this series is called 'Preparation'.

The past few days were actually among the best this year, too. I love Ross very, very, very much and very dearly and every second with her is pretty much amazing. I could only wish that it didn't really finish... I can't wait for next week.

I haven't got the internet yet, but I might next week. To be honest I don't think it's been as terrible as I thought... After all, I just really miss talking to people but I've had some of the best letters ever sent to me these past few weeks, and that's been more than enough.

And now I'm going to sketch out a new drawing of St. Sebastian.

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 10:46:49 GMT

The best thing about the new house is my window. When it is open, I can lie on my back and the breeze it lets in smells of the sea and of seaweed, or rain, because it did a lot of that yesterday. When it's closed, I can sit cross legged on my bed and look out to sea and everything is happening out there all the time. Last night there were freerunners swinging around lampposts outside my house at half one, I poked my head out and waved. I see a lot of yachts and exactly twelve blinking red and green lights, like a long runway to France. Additionally, even though Ross isn't there, I look out across the Isle of Wight and pretend she is.

The sad thing about the letters I am receiving is that the postman decides to wait a week before giving us any post, so they're all from a long time ago. I do nothing at the moment so I don't have anything to write about unless I'm responding to letters.

No, there's really nothing going on, haha. My money was meant to go into my account yesterday. It didn't. Surprise squared. So I have to go and ask about that. Another trouble I have is that I can't seem to find any confirmation for my Offset Tickets... -- oh wait I just found it. Why did I send it to that address?! How silly of me.

I haven't really done any drawing or photography since I moved but I have done a lot of writing and reading. I am very slowly wading through the reading list that Ross kindly drew up for me. It feels good to read again; I am somewhat ashamed of the fact that I'm very very poorly read, and I have a great deal to catch up on. It's nice, though, seeing as my barely reading for about two years doesn't seem to have hampered my ability to appreciate fine writing and literature. I have just started The Great Gatsby.

I read my friends page and it made me tear up a little bit. Everyone is doing a lot of wonderful things and I'm not here to talk about them with them. I hope everyone is well.

Writer's Block: RIP Michael Jackson

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 12:07:14 GMT

In honor of the King of Pop: What is your favorite Michael Jackson song?

Submitted By deathbylies

View 509 Answers

Hah! I knew before I had even got on the internet that this would be today's writer's block. I actually considered how I'd answer it. My favourite Michael Jackson song is actually a Jackson 5 song - does that count? Can You Feel It by the Jackson 5 is genuinely one of my favourite songs ever, let alone by him - it's just quite literally one of the most powerful and moving pieces of pop I've ever heard. It's actually an incredibly important piece of music to me, holding a great deal of beautiful memories and to this day, nothing in that genre quite makes me feel the same. Michael Jackson was a talent that will never be replaced and forgive my cynicism, but I can't help but feel that his legend is now only made complete by his tragically early death.

I'm afraid that I have to take leave of the internet, starting tomorrow, for four weeks. As of yet, there is no phone number other than my mobile, and I think all that would want that probably have it.

In the mean time, however, you can contact me at lnr.rose@hotmail.com, or --

11, Grand Parade
Old Portsmouth
Hants
PO1 2NF

Suffice to say, it's a daunting prospect and I'm sure I'll be at other people's houses all the time in attempt to keep contact up... it's a long time! Let's hope that by my return, I'll have forgetten things like 4chan and everything horrible and never feel the need to return to it again.

Have a wonderful four weeks!

Chaff

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 22:37:27 GMT

yasmin says:
*YES,.
*NAN
*NANA
*NANA
*ANNANANA
*ANNANANANNA
*NANANANANANNANANA
*ANANNANA
*UUUUUUUUUH
*NANANNANA
*NANANANANANA
*ANNANANANAN OOOOHOH""
*OHOTHJOJOHJDFGJSLADGHASLKFHKASHDLAJHSDKJFHSADFJDF
(tu) ROWΔN says:
*IUASUAUAUAUAUAUAUAUAUAUAUAUAUAUUAUAUAAUAAAAA
yasmin says:
*AHSGFHSAGFHSADF
*HMMM
*HMMM
*HMMM
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Wed, 24 Jun 2009 11:20:27 GMT

Repeat ad naseum. Have fun.

Sat, 20 Jun 2009 12:40:23 GMT

I had a beautiful few days with Ross. Very lazy, I must stress, but a delightful haze of not-much and lying around talking. Additionally, I'm beginning to find myself crippled by hayfever at inopportune moments. What else is there to complain about? Um... Oh, my teeth; my wisdom teeth are digging into my cheeks and it bloody hurts.

I started work last night at Babylon. The name of the pub sounds horrendous; that's because it is. 90s music and cheese abound, but I've had a few enjoyable evenings in there myself, staring at the collage of britpop figures on the walls... However, it's my job to scream at people until they come into the pub. I can already tell why they've hired us; Babylon's just round the corner from the rest of the line of pubs and clubs and I think it probably really loses out on customers just because of its place along Guildhall Walk. I feel sorry for it. Anyway; work is essentially being paid for a night out where you're not drinking. Not really an 'Eleanor' night out, but a normal person night out. I might be able to stick it for a while but I can tell that some days I just will not want to do it. Thankfully it's only twice/three times a week, but who knows... regardless, it's money. Not much, but some.

Primary Colours has become my comfort album. I've been feeling on a real low, recently, the second that I came out of exams and... well, when I left Rowan's house at the start of the month, I suppose. Everything just seems boring and lonely and I just haven't been able to push myself, do anything new, make anything... I've all but given up 365 purely because I can't bring myself to do it. It's depressing and silly, really. I'm ashamed of my lack of drive... but anyway, yes. Primary Colours just helps. I can't explain why but the moment that I feel that shimmering warmth of the first track I can close my eyes and pretend I feel sunlight on them, and everything is okay.

Oh, and an important thing, I suppose. We finally are in posession of the new house and we are moving in shortly. Expect pictures.

Thu, 11 Jun 2009 11:01:27 GMT

The end. Art is over, Graphics, over, History, over. Never again will I have to do papers on sources. Never again will I find myself staring at my paper and wondering whether I really want it.

Monday's exam was frustrating due to two questions on subjects I did not want; I think I may have struggled a B. I can't know. Today's paper is shrouded in similar mystery - with sources so vague and questions so broad, one can only sit and hope it went as well as you'd have liked.

I may as well express my fears regarding my grades, however. Mum has made subtle but heavy remarks on how disappointed she'll be if 'I don't get the grades I want' - and of course, by that, she means three As that she most definitely wants. History... I could get an A in History, depending on those exams, but I've long since given up on achieving full marks in Art and Graphics, boosted only by my application for the pre-degree course at Southdowns in which my interviewer confirmed Bs as my predicted grades for those subjects. I tried - really, I tried this year so those grades are not lack of effort, merely... merely perhaps my stubborness and desperation to try new ideas without carrying them to fruition confidently enough, ticking all boxes. Things that I've been happy to discuss with my graphics and art teachers but not my parents. I can't help but think they wouldn't get it. Anyway; my main worry is what it'll mean for me, considering that my being a year behind meaning that the pre-degree course will cost £750. If I am only getting second-best marks, then why on earth will my parents have any reason to believe that this is worth it - of course, I can't pay for it myself - so therefore, again, I am trapped by not only my own expectations but an additional sense of obligation when really, I don't feel art should be about at all. Thankfully, Rowan reminded me that places that I am interested in attending are not so much concerned with shining A grades as a shining portfolio and personal statements - these are things I really think I could do. So the dream may not be damaged by my second-best success, merely... perhaps I won't be allowed near a computer quite so much.

There was so much more that I had meant to type but I've forgotten. Oh! Yes! Offset festival - I am excited. And a job! I have entered the realm of the employed. Two to three evenings a week, promoting 90s theme bar/club Babylon - not just leafleting, but an all out attack on the party goers in the streets, costumes, screaming, dancing and singing, the lot. My only thought when I got the job, bizarrely, was 'I wonder what impact this will have on my waistline?'. I wish I could explain that. I'm more looking forward to money; however, primary concern is to how willing my workmates will be to move shifts around and such in order for me attending aformentioned Offset festival and my few days in London seeing the Smittens and YACHT.

Thu, 04 Jun 2009 22:13:57 GMT

Your Twenties are the perfect pop band and Gabriel is the perfect pop songwriter and I love them.

Metronomy aren't human anymore and the sheer fact that they had to be plugged in and controlled by a laptop for their performance set my heart rate rapid.

I love Chris.

We are Snatlets.

The Pan I Am have evolved, but I'm starting to realise that that's just the point. Edward is just so happy and that happiness leaked out of every pore, so thrilled to talk and the fact that there were about ten people there to see him. All frontmen should set the microphone down and sit on the barrier and talk. There was a tinge of the Tim Smith about the... slightly threatening man-child way he asked us to all gather round, have some fun and open our ears. But I loved it. He is really quite a beautiful person.

The next day, however. I can't tell you how much I was brimming over with excitment for The Horrors. Their new album is just so essential to my thinking and feeling right now and to see it live is all I've been waiting for the second I heard their new material. Of course it really helped that that morning we discovered S.C.U.M. were supporting - ten minutes were spent half crying and half laughing with excitment.

So we went down ridiculously early to get my 12 inch signed; had a brief word with each of them but managed to say a few nice things about the impact they've had on me. Besides Rhys' adorable gushing over my happiness, the best reaction was Faris' completely flat and probably sarcastic interjection of 'Oh, what a heartwarming tale' which was simultaneously rude and hilarious. Enough to make me curl my lips in with giggles, anyway. Joe remembered me from the airport meeting in February!

I think the sweetest thing was seeing S.C.U.M. pull up to the building really, because it just reminded me that they are still really only children; laughing and giving eachother piggy backs and posing for shots with a disposable camera. Tom was really nice and informed me that he'd been using my photos as facebook pictures (I died inwardly) and seemed a bit disappointed I didn't have my camera on me. I told him he had black teeth and he seemed embarrassed, admitting that he'd been drinking cheap red wine. Utterly hilarious.

I can't really say much about the gig, I don't know why. Inside, all I really remember was brushing shoulders with Rhys at the merch stand and talking about cutting off the shoulders to the shirts we were both buying. S.C.U.M. were incredible and Tom Vain wrapped toilet paper around his throat when someone threw it onstage. I wish I could talk more about what their music does to me, especially live, but I just can't. Factory Floor were really inspiring, too, and I can't wait to hear more of them. And The Horrors... I just cried throughout their set, really. Just the synths on Mirror's Image and Three Decades are enough to set me off listening to the record, let alone live with the movement and the way they throw themselves into it. It genuinely was beautiful and Sea Within A Sea had this agressive, scary spin on it and... Perfect. I loved it so much. Faris was on top crowd baiting form and Josh humped a speaker and Rhys' dancing is the best. I love this band for so many reasons and I can't wait to see them live again.

And then I went home.

Thu, 28 May 2009 06:47:10 GMT

My last few days; lonely. Rowan and Yasmin at Evolution removed the safety blanket of guaranteed MSN conversation by attending Evolution festival. Despite the majority of the acts cancelling, I should still have loved to have gone. I got quite emotional over some of the photos.

Instead, I didn't sleep from early Tuesday morning through early hours this morning. Funny how these things happen, isn't it? Tuesday and Monday were mostly ruined by my sister's absolutely dreadful behaviour, yet Wednesday was a day for redemption. A really nice day, actually, despite the fact that I hadn't slept a wink and I've never done that before. Starting with an early morning bike ride at about quarter to five, I caught the sunrise and a few nice shots of people wandering around and such, as well as the sun itself. The rest of the day, weatherwise, was absolutely foul and almost put a stopper on my going out last night. Chelsea (canadian swimming coach staying with our club currently; absolutely lovely in every sense) brought one of her friends to our house with Zoe and her mother, and we had a little mediterrainian buffet, followed by a trip to the chinese state circus. I've got to say, the circus was amazing, but I couldn't stop laughing. The ringleader was a very lithe small man dressed like Monkey, mouthing over a pre-recorded commentary. Absolutely hilarious, like the worst dubbed film with additional facial ticks thrown in.

I went to see White Rose Movement, Ulterior and R O M A N C E last night, due to my rediscovery and subsequent love of durgy whiney gothy music (if you could call it music). Funnily enough, I left before White Rose Movement but I can't say I was particularly bothered, having last heard their album in 2006; I was mostly there for the support acts and uh, well, those four nice boys from Salisbury that I met at S.C.U.M.. They were there and as sweet and as nicely dressed as ever - I took quite a shining to the nicest (and the most attractive, ha ha) one out of them and we sat and talked quite a lot. I also succeeded to spill a beer on him. Smooth.

Music wise, I actually really enjoyed R O M A N C E. They are, for all their intimidating looks and styling, absolute sweethearts as I'm finding these younger bands are, more and more. I always try and make an effort to give these bands some feedback and it always seems to be recieved really positively, which is nice. Ulterior were really impressive too, actually, and I had fun during their set, even if the frontman was dressed in a way that made me feel supremely uncomfortable just watching. Leather trousers, basically. That sums it up. So a nice evening out.

And now, if you didn't know, I'm going on holiday to Bromsgrove for an extended stay with Rowan. Metronomy in Birmingham this evening, adventures over the weekend, The Pan I Am on Monday and The Horrors on Tuesday. Unimaginably excited.

So I'll see you around.

Writer's Block: There Can Be Only One

Fri, 22 May 2009 09:18:32 GMT

Do you believe in monogamy?

View 501 Answers

I'm not jealous, Scarlett, will you marry me?

I admire my determination to revise the past few days. I admire the fact that that determination has actually produced results. Admittedly, over the years, my good grades have been gained on luck alone. I have never advocated revision or hard work, being the lazy bugger that everybody hates because she does no work and still aces the lot. Oh, apart from when it comes to Art, of course, where I never seem to get top marks due to laziness. I dreamt that I got a D for my exam unit in Art last night and suitably went mad; I'm just spoiled to the point that anything that isn't a sparkling, safe A makes me deeply uncomfortable. I considered this yesterday. It's odd, and I ought to be more grateful when it comes to my luck so far in life - I'm an all rounder with good grades in every field of study, successful in sport (though I'll return to this shortly), yet I consistently pursue the thing I can never quite be best in the class at. It's all about what you care for the most, I suppose.

Now, sport; I am furious. Seeing a girl brag on facebook about her numerous jobs for Aquabatix and her earnings in excess of £2000 alone this year sent me into a real fit of rage. Aquabatix is a company set up by two senior players in how British Synchro is run; it's a company to promote the use of synchronised swimming at various events, music videos, television programs, parties, etc, picking swimmers for clients and packing them off wherever they're needed. Initially, you had to apply, and I did. In fact, I've applied about five times and I know - for a fact - that the majority of the girls that get good, regular jobs have never applied and get in on being favourites. The girl that's earnt two grand doesn't even swim anymore. She gave up three years ago. There are girls at my club that never applied and have half my talent, half my ability and flair and half my experience that go to Iceland for an all-expenses-paid show in which they earn £500.

I think the worst part is knowing that it's just Adele's (one of the women running this) huge unprofessionalism shining through. Her tendancy for favourites and such has carried over and I know she never liked me or thought much of me; ridiculous considering I am about... four or five times national champion, current national figure champion and ex Great Britain swimmer. I'd like to say that well, it's her loss, but then I remember there's so much money in it and I find it's quite definitely mine. I just detest the fact that a talent of mine is going to waste because of this woman's feelings towards me - I've never been rejected or contacted, just ignored. It's the absolute height of rudeness and a blatant lack of professional attitude towards her precious company.

I'm going to e-mail her about it. If I'm ignored, then I'll understand. If I get a response feigning unawareness, but if it gets me jobs, then I won't call bullshit and just go with it. If I get an e-mail back claiming - this is the most likely - that I am simply not a marketable swimmer, than I'll probably moan and cry.

Edit - Additionally, I have an oddly accurate diagram of the Pleiades, in acne, on my chin.

Tue, 19 May 2009 15:46:36 GMT

I haven't made an entry or so for a week. I didn't mean to be quite so forgetful but here we go. In reality, though, it was more of a lazy putting-off of duty rather than forgetful. I've taken a great many photos and I'm afraid I just haven't been bothered to process them all.

Firstly, thought, I suppose Johnny Foreigner needed speaking about.

I suppose the day was set to a rip roaring start with a fantastically lazy day spent with Charles and the additional free replacement of my iPod courtesy of Apple stores. Video games were played and life was discussed and I partook in a wonderful park lunch. Johnny Foreigner really needs discussing pressingly, however.

My friendship with Alexei is rooted in an accident; stalking Los Campesinos! in February 2008 led to meeting Alexei of JoFo and taking him to a chip shop. I then met him again at their gig in April 08 and, for some unknown reason, he enjoyed my company enough to stick with me for most the night and much to my delight, found me and added me on myspace the next day. So in the past year or so we've talked sparsely and recently, I volunteered to cobble together a video for new songs that they're going to put on an enhanced DVD which led to more chatting and as he said last Tuesday, my being 'an employee of Johnny Foreigner'. He's an adoringly pleasant, interesting and funny man and knowing him has really driven me to want to support bands like that - it was wonderful to have enough to talk about with him and what he's been doing and what I've been doing to fill up a good evening without awkward pauses.

So of course, much of the evening on the twelfth was spent with Alexei. After admitting that he'd put me on the guestlist but had no way of checking whether I'd be there (which was touching enough to think that I'd been remembered), he offered me free merchandise that I simply could not accept; I bought it instead and I think he was somewhat embarrassed by, in a nice way. Instead, he said that I'd be guestlisted for anything in the future (something I will indeed hold him to!). His enthusiasm for the tour really meant that I was excited about the whole evening and had every right to. Venice Ahoy!, local band, have improved beyond measure and now are vaguely interesting, accomplished and entertaining. Copy Haho I spent the majority of the bits inbetween songs talking to on stage simply because no-one else would, hanging around the back and looking moody. The lead singer turned around and bent over specifically for me to take a photo of it. Beautiful band, actually, further proof that scottish music seems just to be a cut above most 'scenes'.

Calories were even rather interesting and exciting, even If I knew that I probably wouldn't listen to them at a later stage. They had a really nice feel to them, as did the whole evening - the Joiners sort of encourages this intimacy and even if most people don't respond to that, I do, and always make an effort to chat when they ask questions and take photographs and such. I can't remember when it was, additionally, but I spent some time with Johnny Foreigner backstage between one of these bands and had a really nice chat with Kelly (bassist) and Junior (drummer) who was as elusive as ever. I managed to get some shots of them for the video, too, which they were all too enthusiastic about. JoFo's set itself was blisteringly exciting. Their music is just... it's odd, because really, I don't think I would have been drawn to it had I not been so friendly with Alexei beforehand but it's just so irresistibly clever and intense and honest that you can't help attach yourself to it, and all the new songs are a beautiful extension of that. They're obscenely talented and it shines. I got some really nice shots here and there of Alexei and Kelly, actually (zero of Junior for poor lighting; drummers get bad raps) and even had easily the most fun song of the night dedicated to me. It was wonderful and even though I had to leave early, I had the most divine, warm feeling all through me and it stuck for several days.

So I'm afraid the following days are somewhat a let down after all of that. I can't even remember for myself what happened, mostly due to a ridiculously ferocious head cold that settled in on wednesday and rendered me lazy and useless for the duration. Eurovision was a treat, as ever, and some parts, oddly enough, inspired me in a new artistic pursuit (watch this space).

However, second fat large report.

I can't really say anything about what Rowan and Charles did in all of this time before the gig because it was just a haze of general loveliness, listening to music, having fun and talking, really. It's just pleasant and happy and what should be done in the company of fine friends and I don't really wish to bore. To note, however; I was on the front cover of the local news that day for the second time in my life. I also bought a Kid Creole and the Coconuts LP for a pound.

I'll admit it; for some reason, whether it be my growing up or... I'm not sure, I wasn't sort of blisteringly excited for Patrick Wolf. Happy that I was going, yes, but it wasn't the sole thing I cared about. This changed, however, the moment that we met him again, hanging around outside the Wedge. I found that I was able to talk to him comfortably and happily; really, he's just a funny, smiley, friendly guy that's creative and enthusiastic. We mentioned some clothes and shops and things like that before he decided to go off shopping, his friends having left him alone (he pouted! How adorable!) and upon his return, we asked for a sneaky signature and a photo for Charles and Rowan. I must say, his blonde hair looks so nice up close.

Our waiting around led to more people being chatted to; an old acquaintance of mine, a new girl in town that I felt the need to correct on her misconception of 'nothing ever happening here', so I've added her on facebook and am quite determined to direct her to places now and again, haha. Soon enough we were in there and in the ideal place, front and centre. The excitement increased at an exponential rate upon the collection of an utterly incredible leaflet distributed by the support band, Yacht, concerning the mythology and meaning behind the symbol of the triangle. I collected two; not sure why, yet... As soon as Yacht graced the stage, I knew, I understood, and I was grabbed.

You can't really see from the other photographs that I took, but the lady soon knelt beside him and they drew triangles on the floor in water. There was a really intense, ritual feel about it that perpetuated throughout their set, and... Oh, I fell in love so quickly and so hard.

This is all it was. A laptop, two microphones; one all white with a white lead, attached to a boy dressed in white from head to toe, one all black and attached to a girl in black from head to toe. They set the laptop to play and performed expertly choreographed dance routines and redefined the word performance. I've never been swept up in the same way, the shameless way they threw themselves about, the boy (Jona) throwing himself into the crowd so readily, rolling about on the floor, the girl standing and forming incredible shapes with her arms and legs, the incredible words. The beats and rhythm of every piece was impeccable, which is something I'm always initially drawn to when listening to new music and oh, I wanted to dance had I not been hypontised.

Their banter, additionally, was amongst the best ever, bouncing off the crowd and eachother, eccentric humour abound and gorgeous turns of phrase.

That's it, really, for Yacht. My eyes were watering and I was reeling and I - honest to god - thought, 'Patrick is really going to have to go some to beat this'. I've been so lucky to feel this way after bands recently; it was the same way I felt after S.C.U.M., and I'm absolutely positive that I have to see them again and soon. Also, their website are reflective of their general brilliance.

Patrick Wolf, then, who - of course, how could I have doubted - lived up to his support and really perpetuated that feeling of joy in absolute perfection.

The thing that made this gig, for me, was the intimacy of it all. I mean, with Patrick Wolf, you're guaranteed, practically, a night of incredible music but the important part as Charles pointed out is that... compared with my last seeing of him, December 07, he felt distant, an out of reach rockstar but here he was right in our pockets, talking to the crowd, laughing and having fun when the frequent technical mishaps brought him back a bit. Impressions of Madonna were a key part of the entertainment, for me, kissing and hugging and touching people in the front row (kissing Rowan's hand, a boy's face, holding onto people as he swayed on the barrier)... it was just beautiful. Wonderful. I am in love with Patrick Wolf all over again, but for different reasons, a different feeling - my perception of him as a person has shifted from my impressions two and a half years ago and I'm glad for it. He's not this fantasy boy that can do no wrong any more and it makes me feel closer to him as an artist. He's a boy that will talk about shoes with you and sparkles and will laugh and swear and drink too much on stage, wearing ridiculous costumes and really, genuinely, wanting to play music for the people.

After all that, we managed to speak to Yacht. I had grabbed Jona beforehand, inbetween them and Patrick Wolf, and asked him to live with me. That unsuccessful, I had proceeded to tell him that Yacht were everything I could ever want in music and he hugged me, told me it was the best thing had ever said to him, and I think I really let him know; the best part is afterwards, I managed to explain again just how wonderful they were to Claire, gaining adorable 'oh shut up's in a delightful american accent. According to her, we're the best front row they've had in a long while, and we're pretty cool too. They're beautiful. The feeling I got from them was just so divine, like two halves of the same person. I was struck by it and I wanted to be a part of it or part of something like it, musically. I'm considering trying to see them in July in London.

Afterwards we went to the park, and it was lovely. And then we slept. I can't really say anything else other than I was made very very happy by it all.

Mon, 11 May 2009 15:43:09 GMT

Things have gone spectacularly poorly today; someone threw away one of my final pieces in Art and I'm sat here doing it again, quite literally watching paint dry, growing progressively more upset and bored. I've done everything and labeled everything up and this one piece remains - I'll probably be here for a couple of hours yet.

I'm also tempted to bite my face off in celebration of said boredom. Tomorrow promises delights (fixing of iPod - or at least sending it off to be fixed, spending the day with Charles, Johnny Foreigner in the evening) and after this, I am mostly free from college, doomed to spend the rest of my days lying about like a lush and coming in to college to scav off the equipment, using the screen rooms and printing and whatnot.

Additionally, I had head lice. Hah. For the first time in my life. I've killed them now and scraped the majority of the evidence of their foul little faces and babies from my head. How pathetic is that? Nineteen and that sort of thing happens to me. Pleasant. I'm really sure everyone reading my journal needed to know. The exchange at the pharmacy was particularly embarrassing; a series of questions from the lady behind the counter led to my admittance that it was I with the lice and had about two people take a step backwards from me in the queue. My main irritation is that it's delayed the haircut I wanted so much, until I've managed to rid myself of every sign that they were ever there. I have no idea where I could have possibly obtained them.

Somebody talk to me, I beg... I am so bored. I am, as mentioned previously, watching paint dry.

07/05/09 - Charles and S.C.U.M.

Fri, 08 May 2009 14:42:11 GMT

I'll admit; yesterday, I was in a terrible state. I've lost a great deal of money to the bank again, and stupidly added up every penny that I'd 'wasted' in the last month or so in accidents like this. And it made me very upset.

But I left a message on Charles' facebook in the stray hope that he might contact to me when I went to Southampton (otherwise known as Scum... THE IRONYYY!)... and he did! It was so nice. We went for tea and discussed many a thing. I love Charles very deeply already. He feels like family. His brain beautiful. As is his hair.

051

I talked these boys after Charles had gone to do work. Four fabulously polite, well spoken and very very attractive boys from Salisbury that were basically the rest of the people there that night. Everyone else was just like... family of the support bands, and one or two weird guys in leather suits.

I managed to catch them for a photo and a chat beforehand. I was just completely bowled over by how... nice they are. They've got the rockstar half-closed eyes thing to a tee, though... I decided I'd try and do this with young bands more often and make maybe some kind of wee illustrated zine or something. I took a photo of them and asked them 'What was it that made you sit up and say 'yeah, a band is what I want''. Tom sort of squinted and said... 'Little Shaun'.

Anyway, support bands were tedious - third band were uh, like fourteen, and were playing Pigeon Detective covers... Tom walked in and stood by the door then and just was... so fey and I couldn't help but giggle. He tossed the hair out of his eyes and rolled his eyes and sort of sighed, resting against the doorway looking abusable. I mean, attractive.

Anyway, I started getting extremely, extremely, extremely excited when they set their gear up, Huw wandering around with his guitar and saying really quiely 'oh my god, it's so hot' to himself. Cute.

And then they disappeared again and the place was plunged into darkness. The four boys from Salisbury and I crowded round the stage and uh, everyone else (all like, five people) stood at the back and this incredible drone and soundscapes started, and they just appeared in silence, Sam Kilcoyne setting the strobe lighting off and... Yes. Just... Yes.

I was so utterly, utterly stunned. I couldn't have expected something just so visually and aurally stimulating, exciting, individual, incredible. The noises and the feel of it and the whole atmosphere made me feel as though I was by myself in the whole room for the blessed half hour that they played, in another world, removed from every worry. It was over so quickly but it was like a moment suspended inside your own head... Just breathtaking. My pulse was pounding and my throat was dry and my breathing was fast, and I really honestly felt weak, I had to sit down and stare. I was that blown away.

It finished so early that I had over an hour to kill, so... well. Everyone cleared off apart from me and the Salisbury foursome, and we just sat on the stage, the chairs, having a drink and talking... with S.C.U.M. I can't get over how nice they are. How funny and interesting and interested in you, asking questions, letting me take photos, brainstorming some ideas and such for a potential zine, talking about clothes and collecting and London and fun and adventures. Tom collects sunglasses. Some highlights included the amps put in their big boxes on wheels and Sam spinning them around with Huw stood on top, nearly falling over and screaming 'SAMMM!!' and singing Surfin' Bird, and Sam cuddling Melissa and complaining that Huw had hurt him - which he had, he came right up to me and peeled his lip down to show me a beautiful big bloodied swollen lump. A bass in the face. Additionally, I said that Charleh had seen Tom in Eltham and he said 'Oh yes, that's where I live...', to which Huw added 'Elth--ammm' in a footbally voice and I concluded 'Elth-am massivvvvve!' and earned all round giggling. Huw was quite quiet, I didn't hear Bradley speak once, and Melissa smiled a lot but kept very quiet.

Oh, and Tom kept on thanking us over and over and just didn't stop smiling. I told him about my money situation meaning I can't really come to London to see them and he said very casually 'oh, just drop us a line, we'll sort you out...'. Such a nice boy. And can I just add? Fucking gorgeous, the lot of them. Seriously.

Cuuuute.

They also invited us to go to the Brighton Underage day festival next Saturday. I'm so tempted you wouldn't believe; but if the London date is reorganised to something more convenient, I'll just go to that. And they waved! Sweet!

The Salisbury boys went home after they were picked up, and they were so adorable. One of them in particular. He spoke like a prince and I insisted that they start a band together; they all play, and have the gear, so I just insisted. I could see them on the front of a magazine.

And that's the end.

eta - I've gone over this like five times to remove the duplicate photos. I'll cry if it fails again.